Five Blessings of Hospitality

This week in our pastoral letter, we’re going to think about a topic that is vital for life in the church: hospitality.  We will look at several New Testament exhortations to hospitality in this letter, but I want to focus on 1 Peter 4:9: “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.”

Life in the early church to whom Peter wrote these words was exceedingly difficult.  Internally,  there were the pressures of theological controversy, division, and relational strife.  Outwardly, there was the reality of increasing persecution from the Roman government.  There was nothing easy about being a Christian in the first or second century. 

If ever a group of people had an excuse not to show hospitality, it was these people.  Can you imagine the congregation as they read this call to hospitality from the great Apostle Peter?  “Our lives are in danger every day because of our faith, and you want us to have people over to our house for dinner?”  What’s Peter’s response?  “Exactly!”  

Consider what he says immediately afterwards in verse 10: “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace…”  In other words, there is no “hospitality team”; this is the work of all believers.  To whatever degree we are able to show hospitality, we are stewards of that gift. 

I assume that is why, immediately after the call to hospitality, Peter adds that we are to do it “without grumbling.”  Grumbling has always been a great sin among God’s people, not because we have anything to grumble about, but because sometimes we just don’t want to do what God has commanded.  We can even be quite clever in our grumbling about God’s command of hospitality:

• “If I had a nicer house, I’d have people over more often.”
• ”I’m not a very good cook.”
• ”This is such a busy season, I’ll get to it when things slow down.”

Do any of those responses sound familiar?  They do to me- I have probably tried all of them at some point.  But each of these excuses betrays an unbiblical understanding of what hospitality is and does for the Christian church. 

Hospitality Defined 

Biblical hospitality is simply opening our homes, resources, and lives to one another for mutual encouragement and edification.  The word hospitality in Greek is xenophilia, which means “love for strangers.”  While there is certainly an aspect of hospitality that involves caring for outsiders, Peter’s emphasis was on caring for one another within the church (“show hospitality to one another”).  Within the early church, hospitality became an integral ministry as a means of building one another up. 

Hospitality isn’t merely about sharing a meal with someone or giving them a place to stay; it’s about welcoming one another into our lives in order that we may help one another enjoy a richer experience of knowing Jesus Christ.  It was through the hospitality of others that I learned so much about the Christian life, from marriage to childrearing to family worship; the hospitality of others became my classroom for learning the Christian life. 

If we accept this definition of hospitality, most of those excuses we made above no longer seem to work.  In fact, those excuses only get us off the hook for something entirely different: entertaining.  When we entertain, our aim is to impress others with our home, culinary expertise, and stimulating conversation skills.  When we show hospitality, our aim is to impress them with the glory of God in the Gospel of His Son.  Those are two very different things.  

Five Blessings of Hospitality

A church that is committed to the ministry of hospitality is a church that will abound in blessing.  Though this list is far from exhaustive, here are five blessings that ordinarily come with a ministry of hospitality:

1. Hospitality helps us prioritize the things that matter to God.  The Scriptures teach us to steward our lives in accordance with the will of God, and therefore anything that God commands in Scripture is near to His heart.  Peter’s exhortation to hospitality is one of several times God’s word calls us to this sort of care for one another:

• Romans 12:13- “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”
• Hebrews 13:1-2- “Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”

So important is hospitality to the Christian life that in 1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:8, and 1 Timothy 5:10, Paul considers hospitality a necessary mark of godliness.  That’s because a person who is hospitable is one who is aligning the purpose of his or her life with the purposes of God.  

So what does this say for us if we’re just too busy for hospitality?  The problem isn’t just hospitality; if we are unwilling to love and serve our neighbor in the way God has commanded us, we must examine ourselves and our schedules!  If we’re too busy to do the things that matter to God, there must be something occupying our time that God did not put there.  We would all do well to assess our lives and determine what we ought to change so that we can enjoy those things that God holds nearest to His heart. 

Dear one, I do recognize that certain seasons of life can make hospitality more difficult than others.  If you just had a baby, you probably don’t need to host a dinner the very next week!  Others of you are in family situations in which hospitality is difficult and may require thinking outside of the box.  But those are simply seasons; the normative Christian experience ought to be to welcome one another into our homes and lives (and to care for those going through such seasons). 

2. Hospitality drives us to our need of the Gospel:  We all want others to think well of us, but let’s face it; even those of us who seem to have life “together” have areas that can be pretty messy.  We can typically keep things together for an hour or two on Sundays, but what about when we welcome people into our home?  What happens when the house is a mess or the kids misbehave or we burn the meal?  

For most of us, fear of these things keeps us from practicing hospitality.  Perhaps there is a better response: Instead of being paralyzed by the fear of what others think of us, let us rest our weary souls in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  When we are secure in His love, we need not live for the approval of others (Galatians 1:10).  

How does the Gospel enable us to practice hospitality?  Because when we stop seeking our identity in how well-behaved our children are, how clean our home appears, or how good of a hostess we are, it frees us to serve one another in love.  After all, most of the time what people need isn’t a gourmet meal; what they really need may just be someone to talk to over a bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese. 

3. Hospitality turns our attention outwards rather than inwards.  Stefany and I often think  about the “tiny home” craze, and at times it seems very attractive to sell our house and move into a few hundred square foot tiny home.  Less space to clean and a lower mortgage payment- what’s not to like about that?  But we always come back to one thing: How could we show hospitality?  God’s call to hospitality reminds us that life isn’t just about me; it’s about how God can use me to serve and bless others. 

That doesn’t come naturally to us because one of the effects of sin upon our souls is that we can naturally be very protective of “our stuff”: “Our” time, money, and possessions can all hold an unhealthy place in our hearts.  But as believers, our hearts must belong to Jesus Christ only.    After all, everything we have is already His (Deuteronomy 10:14), and we’re just stewards of it (see the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25:14-30).  We must come to grips with this: When we are committed to biblical hospitality, it will cost us.  It’s not only the cost of the meal; it’s the time spent preparing and cleaning up.  It’s not about the meals we like; it’s about what others would enjoy.  This is one area that my wife absolutely amazes me: She pays careful attention to what almost every person in the church eats and doesn’t eat- it’s her love language!  

4. Hospitality moves us beyond merely shared theology to a shared life.  In the Gospels, the Lord Jesus frequently ate meals with people.  And yet, sharing a meal isn’t about the food; it’s about building relationships.  In fact, as Tim Chester points out in his book Meals with Jesus, the word “companion” comes from the Latin “cum” (“together”) and “panis” (“bread”).  Chester continues, “We may not long for bread, but we long for meaning, intimacy, fulfillment, community, purpose, and joy.”

As a pastor, I see this as one of the great benefits of hospitality: As we welcome one another into our homes, we move from being fellow church members to sharing rich fellowship with one another.  Churches can implement all sorts of programs to connect people, but it’s all useless until we begin to genuinely let one another into our lives.  

Sadly, so many church members miss out on the benefit of sharing life together.  I was speaking to a friend a few years ago about his attendance at a very large megachurch in another state.  I asked what the appeal was for him, and his answer surprised me: “I can remain completely anonymous here.”

Church is not a place to remain anonymous; it’s a place to know and be known!  And hospitality is one of the best means by which we help people move from anonymity to familiarity.  And how badly do we need that?  Many studies have shown that one of the primary reasons people choose a church is not theology, but relationships.  Likewise, people are less likely to leave a church if they have substantial relationships.  

We cannot cultivate meaningful relationships with one another for an hour or two on Sundays; we must learn to share life together. 

5.  A ministry of hospitality is not only an example to the church but a witness to the world.  Families committed to hospitality are vital to the health and life of any church.  The Lord Jesus says that the world will know us by the love we have for one another (John 13:35).  What better way can we show love to one another than by meaningful hospitality?  And hospitality tends to have a snowball effect: as a few families in the church faithfully practice it, others will undoubtedly follow suit. 

Likewise, when we are faithful to show hospitality, it is an extremely attractive witness to the watching world.  I heartily commend Rosaria Butterfield’s book The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert as a case study in how sharing a meal can open doors and hearts to the Gospel.  I encourage you to read it, then set an extra seat or two at the table each Sunday, and go out of your way to invite visitors.  Regardless of what they think of the preaching, if the food is good they’ll be back next week.  That’s why we often say as a church “if you feed them, they will come.”

Serve One Another in Love

Perhaps you have agreed with what I’ve said above about the importance of hospitality- wonderful!  But that’s only half the battle.  The other half is to do it.  Dear ones, hospitality matters.  As the church of Jesus Christ, we’re not called to live by good intentions; we’re called to do the work of the ministry.  Therefore, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.”

I love you all very much, 

Pastor Alex