Build One Another Up

This is our sixth installment in this series on the “one another” statements in Scripture.  Thus far, our focus has been on how we are to treat one another, particularly in times of conflict or controversy that could harm the church.  This week, I’d like for us to look at how we are called to intentionally and proactively build one another up in Jesus Christ.  

I have been a believer for 24 years, and in that time I have had the privilege of being mentored by some of my pastoral heroes, including Douglas Kelly, Bill Barcley, and Terry Johnson.  Each of those relationships has left an indelible imprint on my life as they have taught me to preach, shepherd, and love the flock.  

And yet, as dear as those men are to me, the most significant shaping influences in my Christian life haven’t been pastors.  Without a doubt, the people who have influenced my walk with Christ the most over the past two decades are faithful church members who have invested time, energy, and many prayers to build me up in Jesus Christ.  By God’s grace, I have always had other Christians in my life who were just “normal” people, and yet they have done more to show me how to walk with Jesus, to love my wife, to shepherd my children, and to serve my neighbor more than any seminary class ever could. 

Sadly, I fear that my experience has been unique, as so often we leave the work of the ministry to the “paid professionals.”  Of course, God has called some to vocational ministry (Eph 4:11-12), and pastors ought to work extremely hard to “present every person mature in Christ” (Col 1:28–29).  My life is better because of the good preaching I’ve sat under, but the work of the pastor is only part of God’s design for discipleship in the local church.  The church is at its best when the ordinary members of the church spend their time, energy, and prayers to build up one another in Jesus Christ. 

The Apostle Paul makes this clear in 1 Thessalonians 5:11: “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”  He’s not speaking to pastors or elders in this context; he’s speaking to every Christian.  This should be no surprise, as our Lord said something similar in the Great Commission: “Go therefore and make disciples…” (Matthew 28:19).  In other words, we all have the calling to invest our lives into one another; helping one another to follow Jesus Christ more closely. 

Since all of us have this calling to “build one another up,” let us first consider what it means, and then we will consider practical ways we can go about this sacred work.  

Life Together for His Glory:

Building one another up is an intentional, patient commitment to helping one another love Jesus Christ more.  In many ways, it is the culmination of all the “one anothers”, as we sacrificially help one another grow as disciples.  It not only requires theological and biblical knowledge so that we can instruct one another (Rom 15:14), but also personal godliness as we bear with one another (Eph 4:2) in the slow, clumsy process of sanctification.  

After I graduated college, I was a very young Christian exploring my call to the ministry in a small rural church.  Though I had sound biblical knowledge, I had a lot of room for growth spiritually.  I am so thankful for three men that came alongside me: a farmer, a salesman, and a director of a government office.  None of them were seminary trained or in full-time ministry, and yet their fingerprints are all over my life even today.  It wasn’t until I was older and looked back at their investment in me that I realized how much time, energy, and patience went into building me up.  Their godly example was good for my sanctification, and their patience with my immaturity was probably very good for their sanctification!   

Whatever season of life you are in, however young you feel that you are in Christ, you are called to build up others in Christ.  O, that we as a church may rise to the occasion, just as these men did early in my walk with the Lord!  

No Blueprint for Building Up:

How do we do it?  While there is no blueprint with detailed instructions about how to do this, I’d like to recommend three practical areas we can be faithful to this holy calling based on the impact others have had on me:

Quality Time: Unlike so much of our world today, which can be automated so that we have very little human interaction, a ministry of encouragement and building one another up in Christ is intensely relational.  It cannot be done without investing ourselves into one another’s lives, and that takes time. 

As I think about the people who most impacted my Christian walk, they were godly men whose life and witness were respected by all in the congregation.  And yet their deepest impact on me was the investment of time they made: early morning breakfasts, visiting after church, meals with their families.  These were the places I learned to pray.  To lead family worship.  To love my enemies.  To study God’s Word.  None of it was discipleship “by the book” but that’s not God’s building plan for making disciples; the sharing of our lives is His plan. 

These relationships continue to bear fruit in my life today: I still speak nearly every morning with one of those men who began discipling me over twenty years ago.  I am convinced that much of the fruit of my ministry is born of seeds planted through our friendship.

This is why I am so grieved by professing Christians who show up to church for an hour or two on Sunday, but then spend no other time with their church family during the week.  This wasn’t the pattern in the early church (Acts 2:46- “And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts”), and it cannot be the pattern today if we wish to build one another up in Jesus Christ. 

Intentional Conversations: A survey was done a few years ago which indicated that the average person has about 27 conversations per day.  Sadly, if we were to take stock of most of our conversations, we tend to talk about a lot of earthy, fleeting things like sports, weather, and the economy.  I don’t mean to say that there’s no room for small talk in life: God has created a wonderful world full of beauty, joy, and fun, and we ought to acknowledge those things. 

But we also must make room for conversations that plunge deeper than the superficial, into one another’s hearts.  Such conversations may be uncomfortable because we aren’t accustomed to them, but they can bear much fruit.  Proverbs shows us the benefit of simple encouragement: “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11).  Not only does the Spirit use our words to build up other believers, but even a whisper of encouragement to a struggling brother or sister echoes throughout Heaven. 

One way to be intentional in our conversations is by asking good questions.  Here are a few ways men in my life have frequently prompted such conversations:

• How may I pray for you?
• How’s your walk with the Lord?
• What are some things the Lord has been teaching you?

As relationships deepen, so too can the questions:

• How is your marriage?
• What are you living for?
• Are there any sin struggles that I can hold you accountable with?

David Powlison has a more thorough list that I have found extremely helpful. You can access it here. 

Gentle Correction: A third aspect of how others have helped to shape my Christian walk through the years is by giving me gentle correction when needed.  While this may be one of the more difficult tasks we have within the body of Christ, it is also one of the most loving things we can do.  

Consider how the Scriptures view the ministry of correction:

• Matthew 18:15- “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
• Galatians 6:1–2- “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
• James 5:19- “My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.”

Of course, how we correct one another is important as well: Correction is often best given and received in the context of a well-built relationship.  When we do it this way, it can come across less like scolding and more like encouragement.  

I am thankful for the ways others have gently and lovingly pointed out areas of weakness, confusion, or sin in my life, and loved me well enough to shepherd me through it.  My life is so much richer because of their tender care. 

A Final Plea:

Beloved, I know that everything I’ve talked about here will cost you time, energy, and patience, just as it did for those men who had such an influence in my life.  We are all pulled in different directions, and so often we just don’t make time for one another.  However, when you can impact a brother or sister so deeply that they love Jesus more through your friendship, you’re living out a very high calling.  Is there any better way to use your life for the glory of God?